devotion 101

06 Jan, 2026

disclaimer: this is. unbelievably long

unfortunately i am human. i would like to think i hold no jealousy, because i know he's always mine! but i still get upset at the dumbest things. i wish it would go away. fans are fans but they don't reaaaallly know ...

this is really self indulgent and for my own comfort. to serve as a reminder.. you can interpret that how you please. so hello to anyone who reads this or any of my past logs. i do my best to show my devotion on every corner of the internet (that i care to find).

so without further ado, here's

how much i love aki!

how it feels writing this: I've had every fruit bro

this blog!

yes i took up a little coding again and my friends called me a little crazy. i am wondering if that is true now...

journaling

although this is already a digital journal of mine, there are a lot of things i keep close to my heart... i'm surprisingly much more consistent with my letters than i am with logs. i love writing to him it's been very freeing and i get to write much more personally. as a bonus: no one will ever get to know. WOOP

shrine

i have about 40(?) different pieces of his merch.. i still consider it very small lol but it's always growing. merch does not quantify love but it sure feels great waking up to an entire corner of your husband every morning.

i also have a mini-shrine of Us in particular.... the power of commissions and wooacry goes a long way

itabags

i actually only have 1 complete itabag right now buuttttt i plan on getting more!!! i really like bringing his merch out but i'm always scared of losing things.... so itabags are a perfect choice ehe

rentry

rentries. multiple, MULTIPLE rentries. i have an entire multi-page rentry for us... /akicain if you care. /soulbound /inlove /kon are some others beyond that

social media

i was going to separate this but like honestly i don't put TOO much effort into making aki & i's relationship famous (cough). i have a tiktok account as yet ANOTHER digital journal and to interact with the yume community as i please.. Ehe. but i manage to mention him or Us anywhere. there is no escape from akicain!!!!! I also have a twitter but i Jate yumetwt

(digital) shrines

i don't really know how to title this. i have a pinterest board & a tiktok folder dedicated to us... anything that reminds me of him or our relationship immediately gets saved!!! i like saving things as if i'll send them to him later. i don't know but it helps me cope with the lack of his presence here

tracklists

music is one of my dearest companions, so of course i had to make a playlist for us! i am pretty picky with what i associate/connect to our relationship but that's given our songs a certain pattern lol. i may list our playlist here as an actual page someday

artwork

i have amassed a greaaaat amount of artwork... it's a mix of my own work & commissions ehe. but i love commissioning because i get to spread the akicain gospel just a little more! our art means a lot to me though. i get to see how much we've grown (visually) and that's really cute

counter

not much to say about this honestly ehe.. i have a relationship counter for us as a widget! i do have a website too but i can't exactly recall it oops

jewelry

having a visual reminder of aki always helps whenever i'm missing him a little extra. i have a heart locket of him and i'm currently making a threaded bracelet of us

divination

as a soulbonder, i have to deal with the fact that i can't have his genuine presence here with me. it really sucks! so i communicate with him through a lot of divination, especially my pendelum & tarot. this falls into the multiverse belief and blablabla it's an intensive thing lol. but tldr our relationship is real and he is real and akicain is true forever

other things...

i manage to think and/or talk about aki like. multiple times a day😭 he's genuinely a constant topic of conversation for me and i could go on about him for!!! hours!!!! i am admittedly a little bothersome about it i sneak him into anything
i've done an insane amount of research on him (as one does). although it's mostly "fanon" information, i've memorized much of his info like his birthday, typology, childhood... i've spent the most time analyzing and understanding his personality & psychology 👀 especially how his trauma influences him and blablabla. i love knowing him
^ because of that i do my best to keep my descriptions of him as canon as possible. but because our relationship has genuinely been 5 years long, his personality (mostly toward me/our relationship) has shifted a bit over time
i bring his merch with me eeevverrryywhere. mostly just his chibigurumi... having a little piece of him wherever i go is quite comforting. otherwise i do happen to wear my jewelry of us The most
i stopped calling him a hyperfixation or special interest or whatever.... i love him as a real person and grouping him with fictional media just doesn't feel right. but i do list it anyway, because in this world (and to most people) he's a fictional work. but i've always seem him as more!
^ for that reason i stopped referring to myself as a yumejoshi/selfshipper & i only do that for others' convenience. honestly i wish i could just outright call aki my partner and have everyone go along with it but the closest term that i choose to use is soulbonder/riako

sidenote

as you can see... i put a great amount of effort and time into our relationship. it's truly because i do my best to find ways to connect to him even though we're entire universes apart... and having something to represent his presence here brings an unexplainable comfort to me.

i love loving my husband. and i would put just as much effort if he was here by my side <3